Katie had always felt her life was mapped out for her. By the time she begins her first year at the University, however, she questions her prior decision to follow rather than compete with her "perfect" older sister. She wants to break free and take her own path to adulthood. She's excited. She's scared. The possibilities seem endless. If only she can focus...

She begins to lose faith in herself until she meets Bryan, a friendly waiter at a local restaurant, who sees her in a way no one else has. All she can think about is Bryan – the way he looks, the sound of his voice, his scent, his touch. There is only one thing she knows for certain. But why is she resisting? Why is she so afraid? If only she can breathe...

She never thought life could be so painful...or so fulfilling.

It's My Heaven acknowledges what is real in the lives of our youth. This novel neither promotes nor encourages the activities of the young people in it. While it does not condemn those who participate in such activities, it applauds those who choose to be independent.

E.S. Pahls attended University of Illinois after graduating from Elgin High School in 1982.

As well as being a mother of three teenagers, she has been working weekend nights waiting tables with teens and young adults for several years. The thoughts and concerns of her children and her young co-workers touched her heart and inspired her to write her first novel, It's My Heaven.

When she's not working, she spends most of her time with her family. Although she has her "over-protective mom" moments, she is looking forward to relaxing and frequenting movie theaters and restaurants with her husband...She still feels the tingles.

"Maybe it’s not Lance I’m tired of," Toni went on. "I’m starting to think I’m tired of playing it safe."

"Just last weekend, you said it caused you less headache," Katie reminded her.

Maria chuckled...almost sarcastically. She didn’t say anything.

Toni looked sideways at Maria. "True," she said. "But sometimes I wonder what it would be like...you know?"

"I know," Katie admitted. Maybe if she became more honest with them, they wouldn’t feel the need to shield her. Maybe they would share more of themselves with her.

Maria spun around and looked at Katie open-mouthed. Toni’s eyes grew rounder than they already were.

"How do you know...if you’re ready?" Katie asked, acting as if she hadn’t noticed their reaction to her admittance. She flipped through the costumes on the racks, pausing at each one as though she was examining it.

She was certain they were stunned. She didn’t have to turn around to know that. Neither one of them responded right away.

A few lingering seconds later, Toni tried. "I’m...not sure," she said hesitantly.

"You know, Kat..." Maria’s voice was calm with a sisterly tone. She was either going to give her advice...or apologize. "I didn’t mean any of that stuff in the car."

"I know." Katie smiled mindfully, turning slightly to face the other girls.

"You’re not thinking about..."

"I’m not going to jump into bed with the next guy who wants me to if that’s what you’re thinking."

"I didn’t think that."

"I’m just curious...like Toni."

"Are you thinking about it because of Bryan?"

"I’ve just met him."

"I know. But I thought maybe because he may be older and more..."

"Experienced?" Katie shook her head. "No, that’s not it. I’ve thought about it before...with Collin."

Toni gasped. "Katie, where is this coming from?" she asked. "You’re like a volcano erupting or something."

"If you don’t want me to talk to you guys about this, just say so," Katie fumed.

"That’s not what we’re saying," Maria assured. "We’re just surprised. You’ve always been so closed when it came to that subject."

"I’ve always respected you for that," Toni added with a shrug. "You’re so reserved. I can see you getting married to a successful politician and going to those fancy social functions and not having to worry about any dirt being dug up about your past."

"I don’t think I’m the type to marry a politician," said Katie. She hadn’t really thought about what career her husband would have. She wasn’t even sure about her own career choice anymore.

She had been wondering if her dream of being a doctor was really hers. She was eight when she first heard Carrie tell their parents what she wanted to be. Carrie was twelve.

"I’m going to be a pediatrician," Carrie had said. "I met Janie’s mom today... that’s what she is...a pediatrician...She is so cool! She took our whole soccer team out for pizza...She paid for everything...She just came back from Paris, and she showed us the cutest little bracelet she got there and..." She had rattled on, barely coming up for breath. Katie remembered wondering if her sister’s new school had some sort of speed talking class.

"Katie?" Toni’s voice brought her back.

"Yeah?"

"Where did you go?" Maria asked.

"Where did I go?"

"You just totally spaced out," Toni told her. "And you’re the one who didn’t smoke anything!"

"Oh...I was just thinking."

"About what?" Maria asked.

"Thinking for myself."

"I thought we were talking about Collin," said Toni.

"I thought we were talking about sex," said Maria.

Katie laughed. "What were we talking about?"