Kelley Lanier
Jasmine lives in the Muddy Flats slums with her mother, Myrtle
Beach-Sands, (a prostitute) and her aunts, Ruby Red, (a
telephone operator who has trouble, as the switchboard stool is
not large enough for her obese bottom) and Crystal Ball (who
does all the housework, cooking and laundry but aspires to be a
prostitute.) Mother Pear (an ex-prostitute) is their mother. She
loves pretty names and her twelve inch black and white television.
Mother Pearl doesn't do anything but eat, drink gin, and watch
television. She says it's her "bad bladder" that causes her
trouble. Crystal Ball says that she's just lazy.
Matt Vines, Jasmine's boyfriend, lives next door with his daddy
Willie, a lazy house painter who enjoys sex, especially with Sara
Crumms, the widow of the late Pickings Crumms. Matt is away
at the Naval Academy because he is an excellent football player.
Some Naval Officers, with all their fancy gold braid, asked him
to play for the Academy, not realizing that he is extremely
stupid. His teachers had given him A's for doing their home
repairs. Matt is a first-rate carpenter, and with all his fine
equipment, a magnificent sex partner. Jasmine found this out,
when they were young teenagers, one summer night behind Mr.
Cooper's chicken house.
While hitchhiking back to the Academy from Christmas leave,
Captain Harry P. Nutts, U.S.N. gave him a ride. After he tells
the Captain about the astonishingly ridiculous happenings in
Muddy Flats during Christmas and shows him a picture of
Myrtle Beach, Harry P. Nutts becomes an important part of the
story.
In June when Jasmine and Matt were married she met Matt's
roommate, Virgil Friendly, who also played football but is a
brilliant student. He joins the rest of the characters in the book.
Later Charley Jolley, a plumber, enters the picture.
After the wedding the young couple start on a stormy adventure
in the U.S. Navy. What fate awaits them and how will it affect
their lives and the lives of the other members in this unusual
group?
Kelley Lanier is a retired librarian and commercial artist. Her
hobbies are astrology, bridge, painting, swimming and writing.
She lives in Florida's warm climate. Kelley has a son, a
daughter and two grandchildren. This is her first novel that can
be described as a completely humorous, romantic and erotic
story.
Matt returned to the basement and sat on the side of the bed. He
put his elbow on his knee as he leaned over and rested his chin
on the back of his hand, in the position of Rodin's sculpture, The
Thinker. Matt stared at the coal furnace that was five feet in
front of him and did not speak. Jasmine, from under the cover
and anxious to get on with the business at hand, finally asked,
"Matt, what's bugging you?" "Honey, I've just ran into a
situation that I ain't sure I handled right. I've studied the
Midshipman's Manual and I know this incident was not
covered," he muttered.
"Matt," Jasmine inquired, "Just what's that manual about?"
Without changing his position, he began, "It just tells how a
Naval Officer should act in social situations and stuff about rank
and wives. I brought you a copy because..." he hesitated. At
last he continued, "Jasmine, I'm not like most of the boys at the
Naval Academy. A lot of them come from middle and upper
class families. I learned about classes of people in a social
studies course. The girls they bring to the dances got money,
from the clothes they wear, when I go over to watch the dance.
Those people ain't like us." "Matt," Jasmine stated forcefully,
"The reason you went to the Academy was 'cause those coaches
and those fine looking Naval Officers, in uniforms with all that
gold braid on them, came all the way down here from Annapolis
to get you to play football for them. You could get a free college
education and your grades were good enough to get in. You
were the only Muddy Flats boy to go the college. Nobody ever
told them that the teachers gave you A's because of all the free
carpentry work you did for them. You are a fine carpenter,
Matt."
Jasmine continued, "We are about the only ones in this
neighborhood that finished high school and I did take the extra
course at the secretary school to get my good job at the mill. I
sort the mail and take it to the right people. I do all the filing and
make the coffee, fresh, two times a day. Some days, and every
day when it rains, the boss sends me to the deli on Main Street
for his sandwich. He always gives me a dime tip. One time he
didn't have a dime and gave me a quarter. Matt, I have a lot of
responsibility at that factory.
When you get out of the Academy, you will make just as much
money as the other boys. So what is the big deal?" Matt, looked
serious, "Jas, those people have better breeding than we got."
"Matt, you breed horses and dogs and things like that, not
people! People are just born. Nobody goes around hauling
people to farms and places like that to breed them. People just
stay in their own beds and it comes naturally. Well, except for
when it happens behind Mr. Cooper's chicken house, in the
bushes," as she remembered their first sexual encounter on a hot
August night, years ago. She continued, "And maybe back in
history when kings married off their daughters for political
purposes. I learned that in a high school history class. And even
then, they didn't watch what the young people did in bed
anyway, I don't think."
Matt removed his underwear, stretched out on his stomach
outside the covers, and kissed Jasmine on the cheek, "Jas, it's
more than that, what I'm trying to say is these people come from
where the streets are paved and they got sidewalks. They take
vacations and stay in hotels or motels. They own cars and eat in
fancy restaurants, with real waiters. Why they even pay more
money to sit down stairs at the theaters with live people acting.
Jas, they got background. We live in the slums and are dirt poor.
We come in the middle poor class, I think, next to the bums and
hoboes that don't live nowhere. This is where we was born and
where most of the people born here will die here. But we have
to better ourselves and that is why I brought you the manual to
study so you will know how to act and what to do when we get
married in June."
Jasmine reached for Matt's hand and squeezed it, "Honey, if
that's all you want me to do, we'll be ready to move to where the
streets are paved, when we get married. I'll memorize the whole
darn thing and do and act just like I'm 'spose to. Oh, what did
you do upstairs that wasn't covered in the book?" Matt groaned,
"I ran through the living room in my underwear and grabbed my
suitcase just as Mr. Peabody come in." "Oh Matt, big deal,
Myrtle Beach probably took care of that already. Forget it."
Jasmine suggested. "No, Honey," Matt protested, "you missed
the point, I didn't speak to Mr. Peabody, I just nodded my head,
picked up the suitcase and ran like hell! My point is, should I
have spoke to him, being in my underwear?" "Gosh Matt, I
never have given any thought to circumstances like that. Are
you sure it isn't in the index under situations involving
underwear?" "No it is not, and I already read the whole book, it
took a long time." He replied as he slid under the cover and
caressed her.
After a few squeezes and deep kisses, Matt, breathing deeply
stated, "Jas, I gotta poke it in now, I can't wait!" "I'm ready too,
get the rubber on," she whispered. Soon Jas, with her legs and
arms wrapped around his back, was moaning with each deep
lunge as Matt, breathing sighs of fulfillment, stated, "Jas, I can't
last long this time, but I'll make it worth your while a little later."
In a few minutes Matt whispered, "Jas, I'm coming now!" as he
bulldoze into her with all his strength. He ejaculated as Jasmine
climaxed, and squealed with delight as the two middle bed slats
split, sending the mattress to the floor.
Jasmine was stuck under Matt as the sides of the mattress curled
up, making a boat of the bed. "What the hell happened?" Matt
muttered as he looked at the sides of the mattress. "Matt,"
Jasmine cried, "you are squishing me, I can hardly breath. Get
off me now!" "I'm trying," Matt answered as worked his way
over the side of the bed and stood up. Jasmine, short of breath,
made no effort to move.
The upstairs door swung open, casting a light directly on the bed
and its occupants. Myrtle Beach, standing at the top of the stairs,
with a small pillow covering her lower body as her breasts
bounced up and down, yelled, "What in God's name was all the
noise about? Poor Mr. Peabody is damn mad. It scared him so
bad, he lost his erection before he had time to come." At that
minute, Mr. Peabody, wrapped in a white sheet, appeared beside
Myrtle Beach. He didn't speak as he looked at the scene below
and thought, I was sure that was Willie Vine's boy that ran
thought the living room half naked. I know I can't get it up
again. Myrtle Beach shouldn't keep all the produce I brought.
Myrtle Beach, afraid her dignity was at stake, covered her
forehead with her hand and looked seriously at the scene below.
" Matt did you break the bed slats?" Jasmine whispered to Matt,
"Don't lose your dignity Matt." Matt realized the rubber was still
hanging on his manhood, turned his back to Myrtle Beach and
removed it as he mumbled, "I believe I just did." He leaned
over, covered himself with his hands and turned toward Myrtle
Beach. "Yes Mam, I guess I did." "Well see that you fix it in
the morning, and stop making so damn much noise!" Myrtle
Beach replied as she slammed the basement door.
With wonder in her face, Jasmine looked at Matt "Matt, how
many times are you allowed to lose your dignity? You've lost it
three times already and you haven't been home an hour."
