M. Gene Newport
Country songs have always included their fair share of crazy lyrics. Some are rib-tickling funny. Others tell about lost love, cheatin’ husbands, wayward wives, or promises of a better tomorrow. Like country songs, books are written for many reasons. In 2001, I wrote “Country Music for Laughin’, Lovin’ and Livin’ It Up.” Writing it was great fun, so I started working on this book shortly after. It puts readers in the middle of another 510 country song lines that I dreamed up over the last three years. There are lots of crazy one-liners inside, including:
-- He used to call me his darlin’, but now he don’t call me at all.
-- I’m still wearin’ spurs, but there’s not much jingle left in my jangle any more.
-- My man’s a country singer, ‘cause nobody wants him singin’ in town.
-- Her caboose looks better than the rest of her train.
-- Somethin’ in our relationship don’t add up, so I’m subtractin’ me.
You’ve just read five of the song lines found inside. That leaves 505 more to enjoy. Then you’ll know why the future of country music looks brighter than the sun at high noon.
M. Gene Newport grew up in Albion, a small farming community in southeastern Illinois. He received a B.S. in Education from Eastern Illinois University and the M.S. in Management and Ph.D. in Business from the University of Illinois. His teaching and administrative career in higher education spanned some 40 years, during which he wrote, co-authored or edited over a dozen management textbooks.
After retiring, Gene kept dreaming about writing country music books just for fun. His first, “Country Music for Laughin’, Lovin’ and Livin’ It Up,” appeared in 2001. Publication of this book is another step toward fulfilling his dream.
Gene and wife, Sue, live in Birmingham, AL. They love traveling and spending time with their children and grandchildren.
If you like laughin’, lovin’ and livin’ it up, this book’s for you. It includes 510 crazy country song lines that I dreamed up over the last three years. To make reading the book even more fun, all of the song lines are grouped under nineteen different headings. Read on to preview samples of the headings and some of the song lines you’ll find under each.
THE UPS, DOWNS, OVERS AND UNDERS OF LOVE
Tryin’ to get over you is startin’ to get under my skin.
Sorry, darlin’, but I ain’t up to bein’ put down.
He says he’s a work in progress, but I ain’t seen no work and I sure ain’t seen no progress.
I knew you was gonna stand me up when I saw you sittin’ down with him.
WHO’S LEAVIN AND WHO’S COMIN’ BACK?
I’ve seen her before, and her after ain’t bad either.
What in tarnation is reincarnation, and when are you comin’ back to me?
She left town with the mailman and didn’t leave no forwardin’ address.
Her lips brought me home, and her arms kept me from leavin’ again.
TEARS, BEERS, BARS AND DRINKIN’
If you’ll loan me your shoulder to cry on, I can throw all my Kleenex away.
Her eyes sparkle in the moonlight like an empty beer car layin’ beside the road.
A cold beer and an armful of you make for the end of a perfect day.
I was drinkin’ to forget her when I forgot what I was tryin’ to forget.
THE EYES HAVE IT, DARLIN’
I don’t know what made me see what I saw in you.
Seein’ her in a low-cut dress was always an uplifting experience.
There just ain’t nothin’ good-lookin’ about an ugly man.
I overlooked her ‘til I really looked her over.
BEIN’ SMART, BUT LOOKIN’ DUMB
If I’d known then what I know now, I’d have known I didn’t know nothin’.
Since I’m funny only half the time, I guess I’m just a half-wit to you, darlin’.
Sorry, darlin’, but that ten-gallon hat don’t look good on your two-gallon head.
I finally put two and two together after starin’ at these four walls all night.
