Hao Van Nguyen
Born in the village of Tra On, 100 miles southwest of Saigon, Vietnam, Hao Van Nguyen was the ninth child of traditional Vietnamese parents, whom he loved dearly. The story you are about to read is of the transformation and life of just one man...from upbringing to uprooting, from innocence into war, from straight to gay...
From Vietnam to America.
Enjoy the journey of heart.
I was born in the Village of Tra On, about 180 kilometers, or about 100 miles, Southwest of Saigon, Vietnam. This village was a vision of peace. Rivers, fragrant blossoms of fruit trees in the air and villagers and friends working the rice fields early every morning. This was my home.
I was born to a very traditional Vietnamese family. I am the ninth of eleven children. My Father was a rice wine maker and my Mother tended the house and the children. My parents were strict about our upbringing and believed strongly in the ideas and ideals of Vietnamese tradition.
As a child, I resented this discipline and felt it was too restrained, not realizing that what they were doing was for my own good. Their teaching was to make me a descent and honorable adult when I became a man. In recent years, I have grown to appreciate what they had given to me and realized how fortunate I have been to have such wise and loving parents.
I disliked school very much but was very good at math and history. At the age of about nine, I refused to go to school any longer. My parents found out I was skipping school and it was decided that I would go to work with my Father.
So, I did go to work helping my Father make rice wine in the local winery. This was very hard work and I had to wake up very early every day. As I child, I didn’t like to wake up early and work but I did want to help out my family and so each day I would go along with my Father, rise early and work hard. Many children between the ages of 9 and 13 years of age also worked there. This was commission work so the more people in the family that would work, the more money the family would have.
My job was to stir giant vats of boiled rice wine water that came down through a giant bamboo pipe. We would stir the water to make steam for the wine. Sometimes I was so tired that I would just close my eyes. This would make my father angry, thinking I was sleeping, and he would wake me up so I could finish my work. As hard as my Father worked, he never drank the wine to relax.
My father enjoyed family life. We could sense that. He was a very quiet person. We all had a good feeling of his love for us. For me as a child, I liked to entertain at family gatherings. I could sing, I could dance, mimic people and make them laugh.
I was about ten when a friend of the family, who was in the entertainment business, wanted me to join a traveling show. My Mother said a firm “No” stating “I was way to young to be away from home.” My mother was a very loving person, always concerned about us all. She was a very hard working person, clean and neat, a wonderful cook and had a lot of land to look over as well. My Mother was the best cook in the family.
I was thirteen when my sister Tram and her friend Mr. Long, who owned a beauty shop about forty miles North of Saigon in a village called Binh Duong, said that they would train me to be a hairdresser. I was only thirteen. This idea gave me big dreams. I could just see myself making lots of money, getting an education for my future and helping my family too. To this I said “yes.” I talked this over with my parents but they did not want me to leave the family yet. I told them “I accept my future no matter what” but they still felt I was very young to leave home. Though it was true that I was very young, I felt very sure of my decision.
