After I read Dr. Daniel Goleman's landmark book, Emotional Intelligence, and people started referring to the concept as "EQ," I began to make a mental list of the major influences on our lives. Research convincingly demonstrates that EQ is more important than IQ in achieving success in our personal life and in our work life, but in what ways do they overlap and/or interact? What are the other major influences, and what are their relationships to IQ and EQ? Which ones have a strong influence on IQ and EQ, and which ones are largely the result of one's IQ and/or EQ?
Most of the other major influences I identified could be classified under the general category of fate, or luck. The genes you received from the "genetic lottery" your parents provided, the prenatal care provided by your parents, and the childhood experiences provided by your parents and others have strongly influenced the way you are. Parental beliefs, societal beliefs, and religious beliefs you learned were strongly influenced by where you were born and when you were born. Your sex, and the fact that you were the first child, the middle child, or the baby of the family, had a strong influence. Chance encounters such as the kid across the street, the one you sat next to in homeroom, your college roommate, or your future mate could have significantly changed your life. I chose to group these other major influences under the category of the old expression "the fickle finger of fate" (F3), but I am not implying that these influences are predetermined or inevitable. I am using fate more along the lines of luck, whether good or bad, but I am not aware of an expression containing luck that would convey the meaning I wanted.
Major theories dealing with personality development and personality "types" are summarized and major categories of "normal and abnormal" personalities are discussed. A separate chapter is devoted to religious beliefs since they are often major influences on our behavior and the consequences of our beliefs and behavior. In the "Religious Beliefs" chapter, I share my personal philosophy of religion, provide several examples of aboriginal religions, and attempt to summarize the seven major religions of the world.
The final chapter, "What U Can Do About It", provides suggestions for self-improvement and a strategy to identify, prioritize, and accomplish your self-improvement goals. It is suggested that you will be most successful if you consider a combination of three techniques. The first is a variation of the "best practices" used in organizations to improve processes and the products and services produced by those processes. The second aide is to keep in mind the creed of Alcoholic Anonymous (AA): "God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I can not change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference." The third technique is to identify the hierarchy of what you need to do that parallels Maslow's "Hierarchy of Needs."
Before receiving his Ph.D. in Psychology, Dr. Lee received a "Ph.D. in Life" as he interacted with those he encountered in a number of other phases of his life. He worked as a switchman and brakeman on the Santa Fe Railroad to pay his way through his Bachelors of Science degree in geology. For five years, he worked as a Petroleum Geologist "wildcatting" in the Rocky Mountains, Alaska, the Texas and Louisiana gulf coast, the Sahara Desert in North Africa, and the jungles of South America.
Although there were striking differences between the "advantaged" people he encountered in the large towns and cities, and the "less advantaged" people in the small towns and villages, there were probably more similarities than differences. In every culture, it was obvious that there was a wide range of individual differences with regard to intelligence, interpersonal skills, and success in their personal and professional lives. Their beliefs and behavior were strongly influenced by their societal beliefs and by their religion.
The "oil field" did not offer him the family life he had enjoyed, being raised in the home of a poor school teacher in Clovis, New Mexico, so he went back to college to prepare for a career in psychology. Working as a teaching assistant, a research assistant, and a psychometrician at the University Testing Center, provided additional insight into similarities and differences in a variety of human characteristics.
Since receiving his Ph.D. in psychology, Dr. Lee has worked in an educational research and development laboratory and directed a national, longitudinal, educational, research study for a major corporation. For 14 years, he was Director of Process Improvement for a major division of a major computer corporation. His education in both the physical sciences and the social sciences combined with his professional experiences and his "Ph.D. in Life" make him uniquely qualified to accomplish the objective of his book: "To help you understand and accept yourself and others."
If you had Psych 101, you will remember the "Nature - Nurture Controversy" and the theories, hypotheses, studies, and discussions directed at determining which human characteristics result from "nature" and which result from "nurture." Every day we are learning more about DNA and other contributions from nature, and about the critical importance of nurture, especially in the prenatal environment and early childhood.
Scientists will continue to study the primary cause(s) of each human characteristic, but the focus has shifted to interactions among these primary causes and techniques to prevent or correct undesirable characteristics. The focus of this book is the interaction of three broad categories of variables that result in the end product, you. This book suggests that you are the way you are primarily as the result of the interaction of your intellectual characteristics (IQ), your emotional characteristics (EQ), and a large number of often random events that can be summarized as the fickle finger of fate (F3).
The chapter on IQ is the shortest and probably the most controversial and the least interesting, but it lays the necessary foundation for the discussion of the other major factors and the interactions among them. The concept of intelligence has a number of meanings and no single definition is acceptable to the majority of experts in the field. In my opinion, no single definition is required, just as no precise definition is required for emotional intelligence, or the fickle finger of fate. Controversial research and opinions on IQ are discussed, but no conclusions are drawn at this time, and experts will probably still be debating most of the same issues fifty years from now.
The subject of "emotional intelligence" has received considerable attention lately, not only in the media but also in organizational development, the school curricula, and with regard to the emphasis on good parenting skills, practices, and techniques. I have attempted to report the major issues, research findings, recommendations, and helpful resources in the EQ chapter.
As each chapter builds on the previous chapter, and as the causal and interacting factors multiply, the F3 chapter becomes the longest. Sections of F3 follow a somewhat chronological order, beginning with the contributions you receive from the "genetic lottery" and progressing through influences of the prenatal environment, the birth process, and where you fit into the family structure (birth order). After discussing the importance of early childhood experiences, the general influences that effect you in all phases of your life are examined. They include the influences due to your sex, parental beliefs, societal beliefs, and the religious beliefs you were taught. You are also partially the way you are due to F3 factors such as when you were born, where you were born, and your chance interactions with others.
Since religion is a very important topic to many people, I have only touched on the influence of religious beliefs in the F3 chapter and include Religious Beliefs as a separate chapter. I believe that our religious beliefs are a major influence on our behavior and the consequences of that behavior. Therefore, it is difficult to understand and accept yourself and others unless you consider these influences. The chapter begins with a few examples of aboriginal "religions," and religious beliefs like Vodum ("Voodoo") and the Neo-Pagan Religions that have been merged with other religious beliefs to form current religious practices. The majority of the chapter is devoted to a brief overview of the 7 major religions of the world, Buddhism, Christianity, Confucianism, Hinduism, Islam, Judaism, and Taoism.
The End Result - U chapter begins with an overview of major contributions to personality theory. Personality traits and types identified by the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator are discussed. Examples of research findings are provided that relate these types to success in marriage, learning styles, and work. The section on Personality Disorders discusses the 6 major areas of focus for mental health professionals and the 11 types of personality disorders they have identified to aid in diagnosing troubled patients, and to bring some standardization to research efforts. A summary is provided of the 3 most commonly used treatments of personality disorders.
Although the title of the chapter is The End Result - U, we never really reach an end result. As we go through our lives, we change in many different ways. Obviously, we change physically, intellectually, and emotionally with the formation of good or bad self-concepts, etc. We change as a result of the expectations others have of us and in the expectations we have of ourselves. All of these factors affect our needs, which in turn effect the behaviors we modify to satisfy those needs. Our emotional and other mental changes will be strongly influenced by our IQ, our EQ, and the hand we have been dealt by the F3. The final section of this chapter looks at two different theories that attempt to explain the major factors that take us through the transitions in our lives.
The final chapter, What U Can Do About It, offers a number of suggestions for identifying changes you would like to make, and techniques for accomplishing your objectives successfully. It is suggested that you will be most successful if you structure your efforts around 3 major approaches. The first aide to your self-improvement efforts is found in the "best practices" used in all types of organizations in their process-improvement efforts. The second aide is to keep in mind the creed of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA): "God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I can not change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference." The third aide is to identify the hierarchy of what you need to do that parallels Maslow's "Hierarchy of Needs."
The purpose of this book is to help you have a better understanding and acceptance of why you are the way you are, and a better understanding and acceptance of why others are the way they are.
