Single Women – Alive and Well! is the intelligent answer to all those books telling women they need a man in order to be happy. Its stories are about and by single women who have learned to be strong on their own. Whether never married, divorced, or widowed, these women have not let society dictate to them that "alone" means "incomplete." Single Women – Alive and Well! inspires women of all ages, backgrounds, and circumstances, even those married, to strive for contentment in their lives apart from a relationship. Fulfillment, says Single Women – Alive and Well!, is found within. And once found, it can never be lost, stolen, or broken, unlike a heart . . .

In a perfect world, every woman would find her Prince Charming and live happily ever after. In the real world, even married women know that such fantasy is a figment of Hollywood's imagination. Yet society continues to convince single women that their main goals in life should be to find a man, marry him, and give birth to his children. A career, friends, and outside interests are simply substitutes for this "true" road to contentment. Why, then, are women who "have it all" not satisfied? Because nothing outside of herself can make a woman happy. As Abraham Lincoln said, "Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."

Single Women – Alive and Well! demonstrates this truth over and over again, from the perspective of women who used to agonize over their solitary existence, thinking that something was wrong with them, that they weren't normal, that they would "be happy when . . ." These single women all discovered, either through an epiphany or many experiences, that they did not want to sit around waiting for life to happen to them. That they would live life to the fullest, choose to enjoy the blessings of being single, and take charge of their future. From their newfound freedom, they emerged stronger, more confident, and capable to do something as simple as eat out alone.

As one writer says, "I'm alone . . . but not lonely." Another writer tackles the fear of driving cross-country by herself for the first time. Others tell about attending a bullfight alone, overcoming a phobia of horses, or mastering a college chemistry class as an older student. These stories are as individual as the women who wrote them, as diversified as our culture, and more rewarding to read than any romance novel. For they are true, taken from real life. These Single Women – Alive and Well! didn't need a million dollars for incentive to survive on their own little islands. Instead, they built their boats and bridges and found the secret to life -- getting to know, accept, and love oneself . . .

About the Editors: Dianne Lorang and Ann E. Byrnes

Dianne Lorang was first inspired to collect stories about and by single women when she realized they had something she did not. Having been married over twenty years at the time, she thought the strength and happiness of her single friends and relatives came from their independence. She discovered, instead, that contentment and fulfillment come from deep within a person rather than from one's present or past circumstances. After much therapy and journal writing, Ms. Lorang was able to achieve the knowledge that she could remain in a relationship and yet rely on herself at the same time. "It's an attitude," she says. "It's not an 'open marriage.' My husband and I consult each other about finances, share in decisions, make plans together, but often go on separate vacations." They have three grown children and live in Littleton, Colorado.

Prior to starting The Write Help in 1996, Ms. Lorang was a Literary Assistant at Jody Rein Books. She has edited a variety of books, including The ADDed Dimension: Everyday Advice for Adults with ADD by Kate Kelly, Peggy Ramundo, and D. Steven Ledingham (Scribner, 1997); Mother of the Pound: Memoirs of the Life and History of the Iraqi Jews by David Kazzaz (Sepher Hermon Press, 1999); The Practice of Wholeness by Lorena Monda (Golden Flower Publications, 2000); and Saving the Bay: People Working for the Future of the Chesapeake by Ann E. Byrnes and Richard A. K. Dorbin (The Johns Hopkins University Press, 2001). She also edited short stories for Patricia Henley's latest book, Worship of the Common Heart (MacMurray & Beck, 2000). Ms. Lorang received her education at Montana State University, where she began honing her editorial skills as a Professional Tutor at the Writing Center.

Ann E. Byrnes was one of the first contributors to Single Women – Alive and Well! with her story, "Seventh Inning Stretch," about learning how to cope in a college chemistry class at the age of thirty-eight. She and co-editor Dianne Lorang became friends via the Internet and have been able to visit in person on occasion. They worked closely together on Ms. Byrnes' book, Saving the Bay: People Working for the Future of the Chesapeake (The Johns Hopkins University Press, 2001). "This is a book about hope, rather than despair," says Andrew R. McCown, Echo Hill Outdoor School. "Yes, humans create tremendous problems, but we also have the capability to solve them." Ms. Byrnes' present partner in business and life, Richard A. K. Dorbin, created the photography for Saving the Bay: People Working for the Future of the Chesapeake. They live on Maryland’s Eastern Shore.

Ms. Byrnes' hobbies include swimming, bike riding, gardening, and listening to folk music. Before joining the ranks of non-traditional students, she worked extensively in the construction and finance industries. Having written for business and pleasure most of her life, including essays, short stories, children's stories, and poetry, Ms. Byrnes has won several writing awards and been published in many local and university periodicals. Along with her own publishing success, she pens book proposals for other authors and designs web-sites. She will have earned her B.S. in Behavioral and Social Sciences with a minor in Communications from the University of Maryland University College in 2001, all while continuing to work and raise two young children, mostly on her own. Two more of Ms. Byrnes' stories--"Mirrorstones" and "Welcome the Seasons"--appear in Single Women – Alive and Well!

As I read the stories in Single Women – Alive and Well!, I think about the importance of the individuation process in each of our lives--that process of finding out who we are as individuals. The psychiatrist Carl Jung spoke of this at length in his writings. The need for us to go on such a journey of self-discovery is especially evident at mid-life, he says. But it can happen at any time, as long as it does. If we avoid who we really are and what our true longings are, we stagnate, we die inside. We may even become bitter "grumpy old women."

The women in Single Women – Alive and Well! are in the midst of this important journey, for it never ends once it has begun. Once they have shed their old modes of transportation, they will find better and better ways to move through life. They may not go fast or by first class, but they will be content with the road they have chosen, even if they have to change directions several times to find their way. Throughout their wanderings, much as the heroines of great legends, they display courage, creativity, and endurance.

The writers in Single Women – Alive and Well!, whether they are single now or not, realize that it has been vital for each of them to uncover their talents, dreams, and ambitions. As we come to know who we are--including our feelings, desires, and abilities--our self-esteem grows, and we know what really matters is Love. Not the romantic kind we used to think would fulfill us, although it certainly can be a wonderful part of life, but a love of self that allows us to love others.

It is this kind of love with which we do not just the big things in life for ourselves and others, but the small things as well. It may be cleaning out a closet or buying a new sweater. It may be calling a friend to have lunch or go to a movie. It may be writing a poem or writing in a journal. It may simply be showing up for work and giving it your all, or deciding to change careers. It may be forgiving the people in our lives who have hurt us the most. It is always about forgiving ourselves. Ultimately, the love we give cannot help but come back to us, in a way we never imagined before we packed our bags and kicked the dust off the feet of our old lives.

Single Women – Alive and Well! only gives us a glimpse of what can happen once a woman starts on her personal journey into self-knowledge. The stories included here represent just small pieces of the writers' lives, yet critical parts showing they have "slain their dragons" and then shared their experiences with the world, not caring what other people think, only that they think for themselves. We are in danger as women, as individuals, and therefore as a society, when we allow others to do our thinking for us. We must not just walk to the "beat of a different drummer," but find our own beat, even if we have no drummer. --Gail E. Parsons, R.N., M.A