As I approached our dinette table for breakfast that solemn Wednesday morning, February 20, 2008, I looked at my wife with dismay. She clearly had questions she wanted to ask of me. I would have no clear cut answers to the questions she was about to ask. Sometimes a man’s strength in the family, can seemingly be so weak. This morning, my emotional strength was zilch and I felt unnecessary. A families bread winner does not want to feel weak and unnecessary to his spouse.
She finally framed her question to me, but with a bit of agitation. "What do you think will happen in court today?"
I was so perplexed when she asked me this question, that I simply said, “Terri, I don’t know. I really don’t know.”
I had some idea, but like anyone else you wished for the best through your attorney. Jay Hebert, our attorney, had been recommended to us with very high credentials. He was considered a very caring advocate of counseling, rehab, and a positive exit channel for all of his clients. He wanted this client to have a life after incarceration.
My son was being sentenced today by Judge Peters. He was operating under the jurisdiction of the mandatory minimum law. Me, with a lack of fair justification for some of my thoughts that morning, I probed my mind. I thought that the system's weight of justice did not seem quite so balanced on both sides of the scale, but what could one do? I thought such things as, "a mind (or a human soul) is a terrible thing to waste." I wondered where had we gone wrong as parents. I paged my mind with, how awkward it was to blame others for the trials and tribulations one’s family might experience in their life’s journey. My mind continued to wonder.
The best we could expect in his case, it seemed, was ten years of incarceration with hopes of counseling, rehab, limited time spent in paying his debt of incarceration, for his mischief’s and malfeasants to society. This misbehaving had been brought on by his sickness with drugs. Make no mistake about it: Addiction is a sickness for these youngsters. It is a sickness unattended properly by our society. We knew that he had a solid upbringing - that we were sure of - but it seemed to never stop us from asking the "what if" questions.
My very handsome, vulnerable, structured, and very smart son had become a crack cocaine addict, and perhaps an unfruitful proletariat to aid in his needs. He was being accused, tried, and sentencing for his malefactions. He had strayed far from his foundation and Catholic teaching. Make no mistake about it: In this piece, we are theocrats in our faith. We are strict believers in the love we have for God and of Bible teachings, and faith. We are good Christians. But through it all, this one youngster, out of four, became sick with one of society's worse epidemics. We have been appalled, disappointed, and dismayed. We were hurting, but our love had not wavered. We simply wondered, "What now? How can we help?" We were not very astute.