Ashley Aurthurton Massicotte
This book looks at the various mistakes some parents make at three different stages of their sons and daughters' lives, namely Childhood, Adolescence, and Adulthood. These mistakes are not highlighted with the intent to offend parents or to make them look bad - as the author is a parent himself - but rather they are highlighted in order to identify and suggest possible ways of dealing with, resolving, or even avoiding these mistakes.
The author's intent is to help make the world-wide community a better one for all of us parents, and our sons and daughters. It highlights a number of practical experiences, some of the author himself, hoping that these experiences will help others realize that we can actually make a difference.
Ashley is a young man who has always had a passion for making things better. Being a poet at heart as evident in his, "Flowing Like A River" He takes the whole issue of parenting seriously. His involvement with young people of various ages as an Educator within the College system and also his involvement with other community based, and church youth groups has allowed him to observe family life in many different settings.
He believes in family and hold fast to the view that the family is the background of a society and more inportantly an individual. Coming from a background of a very supportive family, and having some friends who have had the opposite, he has always wanted to make a contribution in this area. He like other parents want to be the best parent ever and writing this book - he believes - has given him a greater capacity to imrpove.
He therefore hopes that all those who read this book as well will strive to become even better as parents, and those who are not yet parents will begin preparing themselves for that important role. He says, "If we as parents strive to become better at what we do, we can help change our societies for the better."
Recently, I
stood in a cashier’s line waiting to cash for some items I had just chosen from
the shelves of a multi-purpose center store. While I stood there I noticed a
few children – girls dancing to some music. The style of one of the girl’s
dance is what first caught my attention and that of another young lady standing
right behind me. The dance was similar to that of the popular pop, R&B, and
hip-hop artists. It was then evident that television had been a major influence
on her life. But something else was even more disturbing than that. She was
wearing a skirt that was more than half way up her thigh and a shirt that exposed
at least four inches of her stomach and waist. As the young lady and I
discussed the dressing we identified the dressing as irresponsible parenting.
Why should parents allow nine or ten year olds to leave their homes dressed in
such a manner? When they allow that style of dressing at such a young age, how
can they then try to discourage it later in life? Many parents make that sad
mistake with the view that when children are young they could dress anyhow, but
that when they become teenagers they will teach them what they should and
should not wear. Children at such a young age should be taught even then what
decent dressing is, and they should never leave their parents’ homes dressed
skimpily.
Another area in which parents
and children normally disagree is in the choice of food. Most children develop
a liking for sweet, salty, crunchy or pretty looking foods. Candies and
chocolates, ice cream, sweet biscuits with cream are among some of the things
that they like the most. It is also becoming a common practice for many
children to choose sodas over fruit drinks. Children know very little about
nutrition. If allowed to make their choice in terms of food, most of them would
choose the wrong foods or things that are not very good for them nutritionally.
Therefore, parents need to take control of what their children put into their
bodies. This does not mean that parents should never allow children to choose a
type of food that is appealing to them; however, their power to choose what
they eat should be limited.
If parents want to give children
the chance to choose, then it would be wise to choose the options and then have
them make a choice. For example, if a family goes into a restaurant for lunch
and there are a variety of fruit and other nutritious drinks as well as a
variety of sodas, the parents can ask the child to choose one of the fruit
drinks. That way, both the parents and the child can be happy. By limiting the
choice to the nutritious drinks, the parents can be sure that whatever the
choice, it would be beneficial to the child. The child will be happy knowing
that he/she had the opportunity to choose the drink. In this case, the parents
have helped to guide the child into making a wise choice.
Television is
one of the things that takes most of children’s time these days. According to
Kyle Boyse, B.N., et al., “The average child spends more time watching TV than in
school. On average, kids spend about 20 or more hours each week watching TV,
which is more time than is spent in any other activity besides sleeping”.
Children normally spend a lot of time looking at
television because it is entertaining, exciting and appealing. Surprisingly, I
know one boy whose television experience is incredible. Although he is just
about ten years old, his only interest in television is news. I even had the
feeling that something was wrong with him when his sister revealed this
shocking information. This is far from normal since most children spend more
time looking at movies, cartoons or other television shows because they find
the news as boring.
Should
children be allowed to look at television without guidance and or supervision?
Without any apology I say, “NO!” Have you spent any time examining the things
that are on television lately? Many of the stations and companies whose initial
aim was to educate and to inform have now changed with the intent of persuading
minds to accept certain views, ideas, practices and lifestyles. Numerous
lifestyles demonstrated on television today are not those that we envision our
children adopting as they develop. Many of these views and practices are evil
and negative; many of them are of a nature, which will eventually destroy the
good efforts of many parents who have tried their best to instill good, Godly
values in their children.
