Why do the officials always throw a penalty flag just when your favorite football team makes a spectacular play or scores the winning touchdown? It seems like your team not only has to beat the opposing team but they have to beat the officials too. Maybe the officials are supposed to throw the flag at the right time. Are the games fixed? Who are these monsters in black and white stripes? Where do they come from and where do they go after the game? What dark secrets are they trying to hide? Come into the world of the Universal Football League where the truth is twisted and sex, booze, and drugs run rampant! At least with the officials!

Sunday's are my wife's worst day of the week, at least during football season. She abhors the notion that I could stand, sit, or whatever in front of the television and watch football all day long! Why I'm not going to get any work done around the house. My existence is only as a blob of protoplasm with a remote control sticking out of it. It's a total waste of time, according to her.

No, I'm sorry, it's not a waste of time. It's FOOTBALL! I was a football fan before conception. I was raised playing football and watching football. I can't help it that every Sunday I go through some metamorphosis from a warm fuzzy yes Dear husband, into a wild-eyed lunatic of a football fan. It's heaven baby, from the early morning pre-game shows all the way to the opening kickoff. Life is worth living, it's football season!

Sundays are the best day of the week, at least during the football season. The anticipation that has been simmering through the week has finally exploded into a heart pounding, wild-eyed take the hill at any cost football fan. Man or woman, child, or adult, the games on Sunday mean the very essence of life. Countless millions of football fans crowd themselves into sports bars or watch the games at home on their satellite televisions all the while swilling beer and cramming pretzels or whatever down their throats. What would these red-eyed third shift humanoids do if they didn't have football? What if the games that they have turned into idolatry weren't what they thought they were? What if the whole game was manipulated in order to make sure that a specific team would win. How could they do this?

Why do the officials always throw a penalty flag just when your favorite team makes a spectacular play or scores the winning touchdown? It seems like your team not only has to beat the opposing team but they have to beat the officials too. Maybe the officials are supposed to throw the flag at the right time. Are the games fixed? Who are these monsters in black and white stripes? Where do they come from and where do they go after the game? Are they even human? What dark secrets are they trying to hide? Come into the world of the Universal Football League where the truth is twisted and sex, booze, and drugs run rampant! At least with the officials!