Forty Something: A guide for those entering their fifth decade. A warning for those who have not yet. A reminiscence for those who have passed it. Dr. Fleisher combines observation, interviews, scientific savvy, and ample humor to chronicle entrance into middle-aged life.

Dr. Fleisher has the unique opportunity to observe the aging process with inside information. He has treated over thirty thousand patients in twenty five years of practice. An astute observer of life’s experiences as they affect himself and others, he has had lengthy, face to face contact with his patients. The hair, the mouth, the gait, the build, and just about every aspect of being is observed and coupled with a complete medical history of every ailment and medication taken by his patients. It is from this perspective that he has most astutely drawn a pattern to aging. This affords an unusual insight into the process of getting older.

All aspects of aging, both physical and psychological, are reviewed in a humorous, but profound manner. The small changes that creep up on you, to the shocking realizations that hit you over the head, are explored. Dr. Fleisher interviewed doctors from various specialties to help him develop greater depth to the topics.

Will your hair fall out? Will sex be important? Will you fall into the vice of the midlife crisis? Will your memory fade? What is the meaning of life and for that matter death? How will you compare when it’s time to go to the twenty fifth reunion? Explore these and many other relevant questions as they relate to middle-age.

It is very rare that we are offered a glimpse into the future of what course our lives will follow when it comes to the universal phenomenon of aging. Forty Something is truly a guide and a handbook for the inevitable journey through middle-age. Ignore the warnings, or embrace them for a happier, healthier, and better quality of life.

Robert Fleisher was born in Arlington, Virginia, a sleepy suburb of Washington, D.C.’s political elite. Soon after, his family relocated to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, where he was encouraged to become a standup comic in order to avoid the toils of physical labor that his ancestors were forced to endure as subjects of Czarist Russia. Ignoring their plea, he went on to obtain an education and become a professional.

After receiving his Bachelor of Arts in psychology and his D.M.D. at Temple University, Dr. Fleisher attended the University of Pennsylvania where he received his specialty training in endodontics. He has taught at Temple University, the University of Pennsylvania and currently teaches at the Albert Einstein Medical Center in Philadelphia. Dr. Fleisher maintains a fulltime private practice which he started twenty-five years ago. It has grown to become the largest endodontic practice in the state. After years of physical labor and mental stress as a professional, he realized that his family was right. Comedy would have been a better alternative.

Having mastered three languages (baby talk, adolescent gibberish and jive), he decided to advance his writing career using the King’s English for Forty Something, the premier primer on aging. Humor and astute observation are his trademarks.

Treating over thirty thousand patients, Dr. Fleisher has the unique opportunity to observe the aging process up close with inside information. The hair, the mouth, the gait, the build, and just about every aspect of being is examined and coupled with a complete medical history of every ailment and medication taken by his patients. This affords him an unusual insight into what happens as we grow older.

The author, is truly the "Dr. Spock" of the middle-aged. Like the millions who’ve read Baby and Child Care to help raise their children, Dr. Fleisher is ready to serve as a guide for generations entering their forties, providing insight, predictions, and advice on the process.

Dr. Fleisher is currently cowriting several projects with his writer/filmmaker son, Andrew.

You’ve all undoubtedly been waiting for this chapter. Could I possibly first suggest reviewing the section on teeth? I guess only if it related to oral sex would you even consider going to that section.

The expression, "You only get better," applies to sex in the forties. You can still get an erection, you still know what to do with it, and it lasts much longer. O.K., a little longer. Any of you troubled by premature ejaculation can forget needing a sex therapist in your forties. Sure, your sex brain can still be stimulated to quick orgasm, but now it may take an x-rated movie, a new woman, or a kinky move on your wife’s part.

Let me step back a second and explain that all I am describing for the male, also applies to those females who have a strong sex drive. It’s often said that the majority of women do not fit into that category, whether as a result of physiologic or sociological differences. Naturally, there are men with weak drives as well. You will have to decide what descriptions apply to you.

As the male gains what is perceived to be sexual prowess, but in actuality is probably an early prostate problem, the woman of lesser drive gains a sore vagina. The woman of greater drive gains a more incredible lover for the first time in years, as he now may last beyond the proverbial two minutes.

These changes can have ominous implications that can trigger mid-life crisis, or they can be directed in positive ways to expand and improve one of the many pleasures of life.

Just because the male develops a slower ETO (Estimated Time of Orgasm), it doesn’t mean he will necessarily have an increased sex drive. In other words, he may not want to do it any more often, he just may do it longer when he does it. Unfortunately, this schedule may not always be consistent with his mate’s.

Some women will for the first time in their lives start really enjoying sex, because it lasts more than a minute. These, we’ll call Latent Bloomers. Others will detest sex more than ever for the same reason (it lasts more than a minute). Still other women will develop faster ETO's which can certainly throw the timing into reverse for those men whose ETO’s become slower.

These changes, if compatible, improve your relationships, and if incompatible, frustrations can develop that drive some to new partners. The older male will suddenly desire the young female who boosts his ego. This permits him to have stronger erections more often, a result of the New Woman/Forbidden Fruit Syndrome. Suddenly, he is rejuvenated in bed. Little does this young girl know that in another ten years he may not get an erection. Of course, that’s only a supposition, since I have not gotten there yet myself. Little does this fading warrior realize that the young girl, who so readily stimulates him, may want to have his children. This results in another complication that finds a fifty-year old guy running along side some kid on a two-wheeler trying to teach him how to ride a bike. After a couple years of raising your second set of children, when you should be relaxing, you can kiss your erection goodbye.

The older female, whose ETO hastens, will certainly consider the young stud who can allow for mutual orgasm in seventy-five seconds. The older female, who doesn’t like even one minute of carnal union, will seek out the even older, sexually inactive male. I could go on and on with various combinations, but you get the idea. The main point is to try to work out the changes, and the differences, to your benefit rather than to the demise of your relationship.

Don’t be afraid to try some sex aids such as an erotic film, or massage techniques added to foreplay to help balance out the possible ETO differences.

An incredible amount of sex is psychological. Anyone experiencing a wet dream is a testament to this fact. Your state of mind is tantamount to your frequency and performance. In the harried world we live in, your state of mind may not always be in the sex mode, as it is for the average eighteen year old male. You see, the Rorschach test (ink blot test) is invalid for the eighteen-year old male, because all the ink blots remind him of breasts and vaginas. The forty-year old male invariably sees business trends, employee negotiations, expense accounts, and other worldly images in each ink blot, so as to reveal his underlying psychological problems. The worries of the forty-year old are often money-related or aging-related (Freud was only one-third right when he said all problems are sexual).

All the above psychological implications of sexuality only apply if you are an overachiever. The less ambitious, who are not worried over the pressures of business and the frailties of life, probably have better, or at least more frequent sexual episodes, since it is one of the pleasures in life that shouldn’t cost much.

What all this boils down to is that the busy executive or professional, whether male or female, is often too tired, too worried, or too busy to try out, let alone work with, the new found sexual changes associated with aging. Their minds are often too preoccupied to think about sex. They forget that sex is a wonderful pleasure that may actually help relieve some of their other stresses if they would just make some time for it in their busy schedules. Of course, the schedule should not read: 10 P.M. Sex with my darling wife; 9 A.M. Sex with secretary; 1 P.M. Sex with Janice in accounting; 3 P.M. Sex with Alice in records. You get the point.