A Jumble of Thoughts

Light a Grill Like You Mean It

My Uncle Mark is quite a fellow. I often refer to him as my favorite uncle, or F. U. Should you have the pleasure of being invited to his home, odds are you will be welcome to stay for dinner. The meal will involve something grilled or smoked, and you can be assured it will be excellent. (Of course, being invited to dinner assumes you make it through the door. If he doesn’t find your company pleasing, then you will not make it through the door. You may not make it into the driveway because of the chain, but that is for another time.)

On one of my many visits to his home, the invitation to dinner came and the grill needed to be lit. On this particular visit he showed me a method of lighting a grill (or smoker) that I have used ever since. Not only does it not involve lighter fluid, which some say leaves an unpleasant taste on the food, (I have never been able to tell), but this is simply the coolest method I have ever seen. (I realize using the adjective “coolest” to describe lighting a fire seems odd, but this is really cool.) It takes grilling to an entirely new level of manliness.

To start, you go ahead and place the charcoal, as you normally would, for whatever method of grilling you are planning to use (i.e., direct, indirect, whatever). It also doesn’t matter what type of charcoal you are using (briquettes or lump); as long as you are using charcoal, you are in the right state of mind and you are actually grilling. If you are not using charcoal, (or wood), you can stop reading this and go back to your cooking in your outdoor kitchen.

After you have the charcoal arranged as you want it, (this is where it gets amazing, and anyone watching will realize you are going to light this grill like you mean it), go ahead and grab your blowtorch. Yes, that is right, I said blowtorch. One that uses a small propane cylinder is fine; in fact, that is the type my uncle uses. Light the blowtorch, (using the striker or whatever), and direct that awesome display of intense heat at one side or in the middle of your pile of charcoal. A surprisingly short time later, your grill will be lit. If you started on one side and are not quite ready to put away the awesome display of manhood, you can always light the other side.

Just remember when you are all finished, every single one of your friends and neighbors will tell you how cool that was and ask where you learned how to do that. If you want to give proper credit, when asked where you learned how to light a grill this way, you can respond, “F. U.”