Mother, May I Be Excused

Asa sits at home with a nagging feeling. His attention moved away from Spirit for a moment and then onto his mother. He knows he doesn’t care for her but he feels something is not right but he isn’t sure. He has never been concerned for her before. For the rest of the evening he tries to shake the feeling. He talks to Hunter and Carter that evening but by the time he finished interrogating Carter about his conversation with Spirit it was too late to call her. He decided to wait until morning. Asa tries to go to sleep but couldn’t. This overwhelming feeling told him to get up and go back to the old neighborhood but it was late and storming. His aunt would never let him take her car, without her especially at 12:00 a.m. on the other side of town. Asa knows his uncle wouldn’t have a problem. He quietly walks down the steps trying not to disturb his aunt after making a false impression in the bed. He creeps to his uncle’s domain but realizes he still has female company. They seem to be enjoying one another’s company so he goes to the kitchen and take the keys out of his jacket pocket. Asa drives to his old block and his feeling gets stronger. He gets out of the car standing in front of his dad’s home in the rain. The feeling is pushing him to go into the home, although he doesn’t want to. He thought to himself maybe his mother had overdosed and was dying inside. Asa grudgingly goes up the stairs slipping on the porch step from the downpour. Asa uses his old key to enter the home. The house is extremely quiet. Asa sees nothing wrong, but knows something isn’t right. He remembers Hunter’s words, “Go with your gut instinct.” He continues on in the house feeling jittery now. Asa passes the living room and goes into the kitchen. He sees empty liquor bottles in the sink and on the counter top. He looks in the refrigerator and as usual there is little food. He walks back through the living room again and into the hallway. He goes upstairs to his old room. He looks around. Not much has changed although it appears that someone is sleeping in the room occasionally. He looks in the upstairs bathroom and peers into the loft. He sees nothing. He then returns downstairs as softly as possible. He creeps into his mother’s room. She was spread across the center of the bed. At first, he was afraid to go near her. He had never seen a dead body before, but she moves. Asa moves back and freezes, not wanting to awaken her. Asa was unsure of himself and didn’t understand why he was compelled to come to the house. The feeling he had was so strong now it made it difficult to breathe quietly. Asa dripping water on the carpet decided he better leave before his mother awakens and picks an argument despite his feeling. Asa walks slowly into the hallway but stops. He thought he heard something come from the bathroom. He stops and listens. Nothing. He begins walking in the living room toward the front door and thinks he hears something again. This time he walks back as lightly as possible and goes into his mother’s bathroom. He looks around and sees nothing. He thinks to himself. I must be going crazy. Maybe I’m hearing things. Just as he is about to step out of the bathroom he sees a towel slightly move in the hamper. He stands scared for a moment. He walks over to the hamper with a boot he found on the floor and snatches back a towel on top. He was speechless by what he saw. Asa stands in amazement for a moment. He sees a baby wrapped in a bloody towel. He looks at the towel he was holding and it, too, was full of blood. Several of the other towels also had blood on them. There were also appearances of blood in the tub. Asa softly rushes upstairs and grabs a box that was placed in the closet labeled baby stuff from his mother’s last failed pregnancy. He takes out a sample pack of newborn pampers, a blanket, a towel and a t-shirt set. He goes back downstairs extremely nervous. He stands over the baby after placing the items on the counter. He whispers to himself, “remain clam, remain calm.” Shaking he picks up the baby. He peeps in the room to see his mother still sleeping. He wipes the baby off as best as he could, leaving stuff in her hair and on her skin. He wanted to be delicate and not rough. It was the first time he wiped a baby. He opened the one pack of newborn pampers he was thanking God for. He was still shaking and fumbling with the pamper and putting it on backwards. He wasn’t really sure which side to place it on. He then has difficulty putting the t-shirt, socks and matching yellow hat on the baby. He had never dressed a baby before, she was so wobbly. Asa was surprised that the baby did not make a sound and was strangely alert for a newborn. She just stared at his face as if she knew him and knew to keep quiet. Asa now trembling wraps the baby in the blanket the best he knew how and places her under his jacket. He creeps past his mother. He walks into the living room and slips out the front door. He holds the baby close as it begins to thunder and lightning. Asa hurries to the car. He gets in the car, turns on the heat for the baby and places her on the front seat. He thought to himself. Now what. What am I going to do with the baby? He couldn’t return the baby home. What was he thinking? What was his mother thinking? Was she high or drunk? Was she planning to throw the baby away? The baby was tossed in the hamper. Would she have a dismal fate if she remained in his mother’s care? Asa’s mind flooded with questions. How would he explain the baby if he took her home? He could take her to Jackie’s house but that would mean more trouble for Jackie. Asa sat for another fifteen minutes pondering. The baby begins to whimper. He thought she might be hungry or sick. Asa drove to the only place he knew to go at 2:00 a.m., Coach Judah’s house.