See You At The Wake
Healing Relationships Before It's Too Late
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From the Introduction for “See You At The Wake”:
Think about it a bit, and, perhaps without effort, you can name someone in your immediate family with whom you’ve had a terrible fight in the past. If you are fortunate enough to be one of the few who has not experienced this, you almost certainly know someone else who has. Perhaps in your own family, or in a friend’s family, but no doubt we all know someone who has had a major disagreement with a close family member, and with whom they are now estranged.
It is also likely that we can name someone, perhaps even ourselves, who has not spoken to a close family member in weeks, months, and in some cases, years. How is it I can state this with such confidence? Because, since the beginning of times, family relationship breakdowns have plagued mankind. It is the worst and longest lasting epidemic in the history of human existence. And while other diseases have been eradicated with the advancements in medicine and technology, this steady killer has gone relatively unnoticed and un-dealt with. It may not be a physiological medical condition, but it is no less debilitating and hazardous to our health than the worst forms of cancer. It has probably claimed more victims than most all other diseases. It has destroyed more lives, broken more spirits, and caused more psychological pain than most wars in history.
It took only four chapters and eight verses of the very first book in the Bible for the first major family breakdown to occur:
Genesis 4: 8: “Now Cain said to his brother Abel, ‘Lets go out to the field’, and while they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him”
The story of a brother hating the other, even to the point of violence, has repeated itself ever since. Fortunately, not all family breakdowns end in the loss of life. More often than not, what is lost, is time. Days, months, and years can go by before brothers will make up with brothers, sister will talk again to sisters, mothers see their children, or a father speaks to his sons and daughters.
Sadly, as in the fictional story of Sam and Mike, sometimes, we wait too long to make-up with those we have fought. We let everything including our ego, pride, distance, busy lives, and countless other excuses keep us from fixing the broken relationship. It isn’t until the death of our family member, that we finally break down and cry our hearts out at the wake, and beg for forgiveness from a corpse. A corpse that can no more forgive us, than it could ask for forgiveness from us. And we wished we had not waited until then. Or, we wait until one person is seriously ill and is knocking at death’s door, to come visit with them and after tears, we make up. Well, while this is better than waiting until after they are dead, how can you ever make up for the time apart?
In this short book, we will explore the reasons why family breakdowns occur, and what we can do to prevent them from breaking, or fix them after they are broken. The Bible, as it does for every other human condition and question, provides us the answers as to how we can do this. It is my sincere prayer that this book will help you heal relationships with your family and friends, and that it will help you help others do the same.
Let’s not wait for the wake.
From “See You At The Wake”, CHAPTER SIX: What must we do to prepare for reconciliation?
I believe that the most powerful weapon in any Christian’s arsenal is prayer. I also believe that it is the most under-utilized! I for one confess to the fact that I simply do not spend as much time as I should in prayer. If we spent more time in earnest prayer, seekin
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About the Book
Can you count the stars in a star filled night? How about the trees in a forest? The cars in a Los Angeles Freeway at rush time? You can no more do these things than you can make an exhaustive list of the reasons why family members fight. Each person can compile their own unique and special list that, for one or more of its nuances, would apply to their family and their family alone. Most of us could relate stories of experiences in our family, whether immediate or extended, of fights, arguments, debates or disputes that have occurred between two or more members of the family. Often, thank God, these stories have a happy ending, and the memories we have of such times are cause for laughter at family reunions when we reminisce on the silliness of the fight. Sadly, however, in other families these memories leave behind deep scars and bruised feelings that over time generate resentment, and offer a fertile ground for the seeds of family division to be nurtured and grow.
In a world in which so many things are made to be disposable when they no longer work, we have somehow found it equally easy to dispose of relationships that aren’t working well either. No doubt that can be easier than trying to repair them.
Our failure to attempt the repair may be due to the fact that we lack the necessary tools and expertise for the task. So, on the pages of this book, we lay out the groundwork for identifying the problem and mapping out the solution.
Of course, that solution cannot be realized by the mere reading of this book. What you read must be prayerfully and carefully applied. The book expands from exploring the reasons why relationships breakdown, to understanding what must happen for there to be true reconciliation, to a discussion on how to fix the relationship and keep it from breaking again. Using the Bible as the guiding document, and sole source of direction, we seek answers to the many questions and dilemmas that broken relationships present.
So, read this book friend. But read it with an open heart as well as open eyes. And when you are done reading…reach out and be reconciled!
About the Author
Anthony López is the author of The Legacy Leader: Leadership With A Purpose, Breakthrough Thinking: The Legacy Leader’s Role In Driving Innovation, The Leader’s Lobotomy: The Legacy Leader Avoids Promotion Induced Amnesia, The Legacy Leader: 2nd Edition, and The Leader In the Mirror: The Legacy Leader’s Critical Self-Assessment. He is also the author of two Christian books titled: See You At The Wake: Healing Relationships Before It’s Too Late and Jag: Christian Lessons From My Golden Retriever. He is a popular motivational speaker, and is a recognized expert on leadership and management. Tony began his career as a US Air Force officer where he served as a flight test director and program manager. Tony later served as a human resources officer in the Air Force Reserves. He joined Johnson & Johnson in 1991 and held leadership positions in corporate engineering, manufacturing, marketing, communications, and general management. Later he was global vice president for marketing at ConMed. He served as Senior Vice President and General Manger for CareFusion Respiratory Systems from 2009-2011, and is currently the President of Ansell HealthCare, Medical Solutions. Tony is also president of L&L Associates, a leadership and management consulting group he founded in 2000. He was an adjunct professor at the Richard T. Dormer School of Business and Management Sciences at Indiana Purdue University. Tony holds a BS in electrical engineering, an MS in engineering management, and is a graduate of the Department of Defense Equal Opportunity Management Institute. You can contact Tony at: ablopez85@yahoo.com. For more information, please visit www.thelegacyleader.net.